Escape plan - Headshave

 


The decision to part with one’s hair is rarely a casual one, but for me, it had become a matter of survival. My girlfriend, whom I love dearly despite her eccentricities, has a compulsion. It started as a playful habit—running her fingers through my locks—but evolved into a relentless, rhythmic pulling. She would spend half the day with her fingers entwined in my hair, tugging until my scalp burned. I had pleaded with her, reasoned with her, and even shouted, but the habit was deeply ingrained.

To save my sanity, I devised a radical plan: I would remove the temptation entirely. I decided to shave my head bald.

I booked an appointment at the local salon for noon, intentionally timing it to coincide with a business meeting she had scheduled. As she left our apartment, I felt a surge of adrenaline. Thirty minutes later, I followed suit, walking toward the salon with the nervous excitement of a man about to change his identity.

However, fate had a different design. As I reached the glass door of the salon, a familiar voice cut through the air.

"What are you doing here?"

I froze. Standing right behind me was my girlfriend. Her meeting had clearly ended early, or perhaps she had sensed my departure.

"I... I was just thinking of getting a new hairstyle," I stammered, my heart racing.

She narrowed her eyes, scanning my face for a couple of agonizing seconds. "Okay," she said slowly, "but don't get it too short. I like it long."

Before I could craft a lie to ease her mind, the stylist stepped out from the back. "Are you ready for your head shave?" she asked brightly.

The silence that followed was deafening. My girlfriend’s expression shifted from suspicion to cold realization. She looked at the barberette and then back at me, her voice dropping an octave. "Did you say head shave?"

"Yes," the stylist replied, oblivious to the tension. "He called a few hours ago to book a full shave."

I felt like a thief caught red-handed, surrounded by the metaphorical sirens of my own making. There was no escape. I waited for the explosion, for the argument, but it never came. Instead, a slow, mischievous smile crept across her face.

"I see," she said. "Well, in that case, please proceed. But I have a few specific requests. I want it done with a straight razor—we want it perfectly smooth and shiny. And one more thing: leave a small tuft of hair right in the center of the crown, then shave everything else completely bare."

The barberette agreed and ushered us inside. I sat in the chair, staring at my reflection. I was about to be a bald man, but the "tuft" remained a confusing mystery. As the stylist began spraying my head with warm water and massaging the scalp, I noticed my girlfriend watching every movement with an intensity that made me uneasy. Still, I felt a sense of victory. No more pulling, I thought. She won't have anything to grab.

The process was methodical. The barberette applied a thick, cooling lather with a shaving brush until my head looked like it was topped with a cloud. Then, she unfolded the straight razor. I watched the steel glint in the fluorescent light.

She began by sectioning off the small circle of hair my girlfriend had demanded, then worked the blade around it to create a boundary. The sensation of the cold steel against my skin was surprisingly therapeutic—a sharp, clean glide that signaled the end of my frustration. Large clumps of hair, heavy with cream, began to slide off and hit the floor.

"His scalp is so visible," my girlfriend remarked, stepping closer to inspect the work.

"It will be even more so when I'm finished," the stylist said. "There won't be a single shadow of hair left."

The razor moved from front to back, then down the sides. The stylist commented that my hair was actually a bit long for a direct razor shave and that next time we should trim it first, but she handled the task with professional ease. Within twenty minutes, the transformation was complete. Aside from the lonely, ridiculous tuft in the center, I was a "chrome-dome."

She cleaned the stray lather, applied a soothing lotion, and handed me a mirror. I looked like a different person. My head felt light, exposed, and incredibly sensitive to the air in the room. We paid the bill and walked out to the car. My girlfriend remained eerily silent, her anger simmering just beneath the surface.

As we settled into the seats, she reached over and began rubbing the smooth skin of my scalp. "Do you like it?" she asked.

"It feels... different," I admitted. "The razor makes it feel so much smoother than I expected."

Then, I felt her fingers move. She didn't go for the smooth skin. Instead, she found the small tuft of hair she had ordered the stylist to leave behind. She wrapped the locks around her finger and gave a sharp, familiar tug.

The realization hit me like a physical blow. She had left the "handle" on purpose.

"I can still play," she whispered, pulling harder.

The pain was worse than before because there was so little hair to distribute the force. I slammed on the brakes, the car jerking to a halt. "Enough!" I shouted. "I did this so we could move past this, but you won't let it go. I can't live like this."

I pulled into a convenience store parking lot, marched inside, and bought a pack of disposable razors. When I returned to the car, she looked startled, the reality of my frustration finally sinking in.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I didn't realize it upset you that much."

She took the razor from my hand. "Let me do it. I'll finish it properly."

I lowered my head, yielding to her. I felt the scrape of the razor as she carefully removed the final remnant of my hair. The small tuft fell onto the white seat covers. She wasn't satisfied with just removing the hair, though; she began to perform a second pass, ensuring the shave was as close as the stylist's work.

"The barberette missed some spots," she murmured, focused on the task. "See? There's still some stubble here." She showed me the tiny, dark flecks on the blade before rinsing it and continuing.

When she was finished, she ran her palms over the entirety of my head, checking for any hint of resistance. "There. Now you’re perfectly smooth. I'll put some oil on it when we get home so it doesn't get irritated."

I put the car in gear and started driving again. This time, as she rubbed my head, there was no pulling. Her palm just glided over the skin in a soothing, rhythmic motion. For the first time in months, it actually felt good. It was a strange compromise, but as I looked at the road ahead, I realized I’d finally found a way for us to be close without the pain.

Escape plan - Headshave

  The decision to part with one’s hair is rarely a casual one, but for me, it had become a matter of survival. My girlfriend, whom...